Fighting television addiction - Part 3

The average individual today spends 70 days a year watching television. That is almost 20% of 365 days spent in doing - nothing.

The United States and most developed countries are now facing an obesity crisis but so far no bright mind has caught on to the fact that nearly every medical study has linked television with higher rates of diabetes and obesity.

Like most forms of addiction the first step to fix this is to acknowledge that the problem exists. If you insist on spending at least 1 hour (even if that is in installments) watching television but holding that you are not addicted then best of luck, enjoy channel flipping.

If you do not have the guts and the determination to kick your addiction then I can only hope that you do not end up an obese and diabetic idiot that complains there is no time to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

If you exercise for a total of 70 days a year you will live longer and healthier. Not to mention a lot smarter because you mind will not be mud.

Here are some gradual steps on how to decrease watching television with a view to finally giving it up forever, just like you would want to give up booze, pot, heroine, amphetamines, or any other type of addiction.

1. First off, do not switch on the television until you know exactly what you wish to watch. Do not flip channels in the hope of finding something worth watching. In short, stop hunting like a junkie roams around town looking for a dope pusher so he can get his next fix.
   
   
2. You have to make watching television difficult for yourself so throw away the remote. Get rid of it so that you have to get up every time you want to adjust the volume or change the channel. This will automatically get you off the channel surfing habit.
   
   
3. When you sit down in front of the idiot box (by the way, the idiot is outside the box, watching it) set an alarm or timer for an hour. When it goes off switch of the television no matter what. This is important, do not fall into the classical addict behavior of "just one more drink", "just one more drag", "just one more fix". When the timer goes, unplug the television and walk away. If you cannot do this yourself then you need professional help. Sad but true.
   
   
4. If you are a typical television owner then that unholy contraption is probably located in the most important spot in the room. Rearrange the room so that the television is just something on the side. Always keep it in a place where you have to sit uncomfortably to watch it. The more uncomfortable you are the shorter your viewing session will become. If you end up with backache because your addiction forced you sit uncomfortably then you need professional help. Also sad but true.
   
   
5. The most critical part - never have a meal with the television on. Always use the time at hand to do anything except watch television. The TV-time should be time that you had rather spend at your own funeral. Focus on your food and nutrition, talk to your family, have healthy conversations and share your feelings and thoughts instead of watching the television.
   
   
6. If possible, hide the television but putting it behind some piece of furniture or covering it with a sheet or blanket. Allow it to become part of the background scenery and not something important.
   
   
7. Make a list of things to do during the day whenever you feel like watching television. Honest to goodness there is a whole universe out there waiting for you so do not waste it mutating into an idiot. Go ride a bike, take a walk, learn music or painting, check up with friends, read books, do crosswords puzzles, buy a telescope and check out the stars, or just do something that improves your mind and body. Involve your children and grandchildren and help them get rid of their addiction too.
   
   
8. Further to the above rule is taking money away from the television and becoming a library member or buying books and setting a strict rule to finish at least 50-100 pages in a week.
   

If you have more than one television then give away all except one. Giving away your extra televisions to charity also entitles you to a tax rebate. Check your local laws.

Get Active

1. Make a list of things that need to be done around the house. Cleaning, organizing, rearranging, cooking special recipes, painting, kitchen work, family albums, there is really no shortage of chores. Then prepare a strict timetable as suits your work routine and stick to it. The television will pull you like a magnet and you have tell it to kiss your ass and keep calling because you are busy. Remember that the television is calling all idiots and you are out to prove you are not one.
   
   
2. Pick a sport or game that you enjoy and involve your family or friends. From cards to tennis, basketball, pool, anything that gets you out of the chair and moving on your feet is any time better than vegetating in front of the television.
   
   
3. News junkies should switch to newspapers. Honestly, there was a time when there were only newspapers around and no one died from lack of up-to-the-second information. Weather prediction is good enough once a day, you do not have to see it changing every hour. If someone halfway across the world or even 30 miles away did something what can you do about it? Just know that it was done? Wow! That's thrilling. Why don't you start working in the stock market and actually watch something that can make you money? Bottom line: Watch news only once a day and for only 15 minutes. Pick the news channel that keeps things short. The newspaper is good enough for everything else.
   
   
4. Do not watch anything that is repeated. I love Star Wars and I have seen it 30 times and it hasn't brought me any benefits. Repetition is very comforting and that is why people like it. Every junkie and dope fiend knows the joy of repetition. Strictly avoid all reruns of anything on television.
   
   
5. Make a habit of stepping out of your home at least once after dinner. That flab around your waist is because you eat in front of the idiot-maker and then sit digesting what you eat in front of the same idiot-maker. Go for a walk to improve your digestion and keep your abs flat. You will sleep better too.
   
   
6. Do not use comfortable lounge chairs in front of the television. Use hard and straight-backed chairs that feel like a punishment. Use comfy chairs in the reading room or games room.
   
   
7. I love Scarlett Johansson too and I too drool over Kate Beckinsale but I do not haunt celebrity shows. Oprah Winfrey sucks because she is talking to you to make money and does not really give a damn if you are turning into a vegetable because of your addiction.
   
   Studies show that there are no shows that actually inform or entertain viewers; most of them are just counting on your numb-minded state to make money. First they dope you then they dupe you and you, you poor idiot fish, you actually think they are some sort of god.
   
   Avoid the following types of television programs.
   
   
   • Entire games. I too like sports I am a health nut. But it is healthier to go out and play rather than sit for so many hours watching for a result that comes out in 5 minutes. Watch the highlights if you must but never the entire game.
     
     
   • Avoid shows with background laughter. If a program thinks you are so dumb that you cannot recognize funny unless you hear other people laughing then you are better off without it. Unless of course you really are that dumb in which case you are the ideal television viewer, already a damn vegetable.
     
     
   • Avoid reality shows that torment or ridicule the participants. Most reality shows are based on some form of subtle cruelty. Just cut out the reality shows. You want reality that shakes your insides then just visit the ER in the hospital closest to you. You will be shaken for life.
     
     
   • Avoid shows that do not match your inner values and life principles. If you are against guns and violence then do not watch shows that make heavy use of such.
     

This is not easy. You will be a very unhappy puppy or like a child that has lost its all-day-sucker. You will wail, gnash your teeth, curse me a lot, and generally be like a junkie that forgot to refill his quota of drugs and is now suffering mortally.

Unfortunately, that is the price every addict pays for not having had enough sense to stay away from addictive substances.